I did interviews with 4 Head Pros in their respective academies. I'm posting some parts of the interviews here because I believe by reading you will learn more about what drives some coaches, their thoughts, and what their views are about parents and young players. Read and enjoy.
What is your name?
Andrew Richardson
How old were you when you started playing tennis?
9 years old
Who was your influence to start playing tennis?
My father and John Mcenroe
Which coach do you remember in the most positive light and why?
The coaches I think had the biggest influence on my tennis career were John Hicks who I worked with from the ages of 14-18,he instilled some good disipline into his players,he was very positive and enthusiastic,he encouraged me a lot and I always enjoyed my time on court with him.The other coach who helped me a lot was David Sammel,he started working with me at a difficult time in my career,I was 22 and not really improving with a ranking in the 400's,he helped develop my game,got me to think differently about the way I approached my tennis and my gamestyle,with him I reached my career high singles ranking of 133ATP.
The best moment of your tennis career?
My proudest moment was representing Great Britain in Davis Cup in which I had my best career win,a five set victory over Byron Black(Zim).
The worst moment of your tennis career?
Wimbledon 1998 against Hitchim Arazi(Morocco),I wasn't enjoying my tennis at the time,if Im honest I didn't do the opportunity justice and played a poor match in the biggest tournament,I decided to stop playing after this match.
Advice for young players?
Try not to make the same mistake twice, top players learn lessons very quickly and move on.
Advice for tennis parents?
Try to behave as neutrally as possible, don't get carried away by the wins and negative about the losses, be supportive, positive and encouraging always!
Advice for new coaches?
Keep it simple, don't try to teach a player too many things at once, set goals with your player and assess them regularly
Thank You Andrew !----------------------------------------------------------------------
What is your name?
Ben Haran
How did you start tennis?
I began by annoying the hell out of my parents by hitting on the wall until the early hours of the morning, after numerous smashed windows and my continued passion, at the age of 7 they decided to take me down to the local sports centre for squads. I played short tennis for a year, and then moved onto real balls where I was integrated into county/regional tennis squads. I remained at home until the summer of 1988 where I was spotted by David Lloyd and invited to trials for the Slater Squad. I was offered a tennis scholarship in the September of that year and I began my journey to become a tennis professional.
Who was your influence to start playing tennis?
My Father was instrumental in my passion for sport as a whole. He came from a sporting background and he made me aware that sport was a fantastic thing and that it would give me many opportunities in life. It wasn’t until watching Boris Becker at Wimbledon 1985 at the age of 7 that I realised the sport I wanted to pursue most of all was tennis.
Which coach do you remember in the most positive light and why?
I had many good coaches that I had huge respect for growing up, the first being Tony Lloyd who coached me from 10-16. I would have to say the coach sticks out most of all for me would be Sean Cole. Unfortunately I only really spent time with Sean towards the end of my career around the age of 20. I was struggling at this stage but Sean was always there to listen and offer positive advice. I remember Sean always making you feel that there was more to life than winning or losing tennis matches and regardless of the outcome there were always things to look forward to. To me Sean was more than just a coach as he dealt with off court issues just the same as on court.
What’s the best moment of your playing career?
I would have to say there are two defining moments. The first one was stepping out onto court 3 at Wimbledon for the Semi of the Junior Doubles. The second I wasn’t really aware of the meaning at the time, but I received a WC into the Nottingham Open ATP event in 2001 and played probably the greatest player we will ever see Roger Federer losing 6-2 6-1. Very one sided but I did manage to break serve!!!
What was the worst moment of your playing career?
After a bad couple of years where my love for the game was still there but the improvement wasn’t, the hardest thing was the realisation that I was not going to achieve my ambition and the time had come to stop competing. To go from having the feeling of chasing a dream from the age of 9-22 then realising for whatever reason you were not good enough was hard and the worst moment for me.
What would be your advice to young players?
Look to develop a consistent work habit every day. Does not matter how talented you are without the right work you will not progress. What you’re capable of achieving is determined by your talent. What you attempt to do is determined by your motivation, but how well you do is determined by your attitude. Always try to take responsibility for your own tennis and never look to blame others; no one can control your attitude but you. Also you must learn to be patient and understand that development is a long process, making a tennis player is a long journey with many ups and downs along the way.
What would be your advice to tennis parents?
The role of a tennis parent in my opinion is vital. You, more than anyone have the most influence on your child’s tennis. If you look at almost any successful player on men’s or women’s circuit there is one parent heavily involved. If you can build a good honest team around a player where the feedback from the coach is being backed up by the parents this is pivotal in a player’s progress.Again be patient and be ready for many ups and downs this is part of any sport in the pursuit of excellence.
What would be your advice to young coaches?
The coach must set the standards that he expects from his players. You can’t expect a player to have excellent attitude and commitment if you’re not prepared to do the same. Pay attention to detail and always be planning ahead. Be aware of the standards outside of your daily training environment, look to challenge the players and see how they handle it.Be patient, a tennis player is not built over night; it’s a long old road!
Thank You Ben !------------------------------------------------------------------------
What is your name?
Toby Smith
How old you were when you started playing tennis?
10 years old
Who was your influence to start playing?
Was inspired by Ivan Lendl initially then major influence was Agassi due to personality and his individuality.
Which coach do you remember in the most positive light and why?
Colin Handbidge as he stuck by me when I was having my tough times.
The best moment of your playing career and why?
Playing at the Estoril Junior Open as it was my first taste of international tennis and made me realise why I was training so hard and why I love the game and continue to do so as a coach now to help players reach their potential too and gain rich experiences....
the worst moment ?No comment ( I SAY -HA HA HA)
Advice for players?
Trust in yourself, your fellow academy players, your coaching team and (of course) your parents!!!
Advice for tennis parents ?
Patience....there is no quick fix and it takes time.
Advice for new coaches ?
Never stop believing that excellence at world level will happen....and patience to make this possible!!
Thank You Toby !-----------------------------------------------------------------------
What is your name?S
imon Harston
How old you were when you started playing tennis?
18 months old
Who was your influence to start playing?
My dad
Which coach do you remember in the most positive light and why?
John Whiteford- invested a huge amount of time and effort in to my tennis over many years. Honourable mention to Phil Lochrie who made the brave decision to change me from a double to a single handed backhand at the age of 15.
The best moment of your playing career and why?
Winning my one and only Futures semi final against Jamie Baker from a set and a break down.
The worst moment?
Realising that my shoulder injury was serious enough to stop me from competing.
Advice for young players?
Take responsibility for your own game and push yourself 100% all the time. And if you stop enjoying the game, then stop playing.
Advice for tennis parents?
Give your child as much responsibility as possible for their tennis.
Advice for new coaches?
Don’t ever think that you know it all.
Thank You Harston !
Saturday, February 7, 2009
To coach or not to coach?
I'm wondering if anyone can shed some light on a question:Is it beneficial for young players for the coach or parent to sit on the side on- court and help players when they have a break. The same as in Davis and Fed Cups?What are the pros and what are the cons in your opinion?From a parents' point of view what do you think about this? What do coaches think about that and do they think that this will be beneficial more to the player, coach or parent? I'm going to do my little survey and will come back with my findings.
Tennis Champions, Are They Born or Made?
John Newcombe, former world tennis No 1 and former Australian Davis Cup captain, once said that the top Australian players of his era believed that it was their destiny to become tennis champions. Boris Becker told me that two weeks before achieving his first Wimbledon title (in 1985 when seventeen years old), he felt as if it were predetermined. As a seventeen year old, Ivan Lendl, who, prior to Pete Sampras, held the No 1 spot longer than any other player in history, was convinced that he would turn himself into the best player in the world. He would even tell you so. When asked by the media about his chances of winning his first US Open title (in 1975), Jimmy Connors' response was: "There are 127 losers in the draw -- and me!" Jimmy won. What these former greats had in common was an unshakeable certainty that they would win. It is a trait that is shared by all top sports people. But a question that has always fascinated me is: Are such champions born, or are they made? Were Newcombe, Becker, Lendl and Connors born to rule the tennis world? Or did they become champions because of the choices they made? Was their success predetermined, as suggested by Newcombe and Becker? Or was it a result of a single-minded dedication to making themselves the very best, as implied by Lendl and Connors? Are champions a product of "nature", or of "nurture"? To be a true champion at tennis or any other sport requires very special qualities. These qualities or attributes can be divided into two categories -- the physical and the mental. It is my contention that physical attributes are predominantly a product of chance. They are determined genetically. For instance, some people are born with a body structure conducive to speed, others to strength, and so on. In this sense, a very large proportion of the population are excluded, from birth, from ever winning an Olympic gold medal as a sprinter or a weightlifter. It is the same with tennis. The physical attributes that are required to become a champion player are such things as good hand-eye coordination, quick reflexes, and leg-speed. Without question, these attributes can be developed to their fullest potential with hard work and effective training methods. But most people are excluded from becoming the best tennis player in the world, no matter how much time they spend attempting to reach their physical ceiling of potential. Does this mean, then, that champions are born? Were Newcombe, Becker, Lendl and Connors so physically superior to everyone else that becoming the best was just a mere formality? Certainly not. All four were exceptionally gifted physically, but in my view, there were other players of the same eras who were more gifted than they were. What separated them from everyone else were their mental attributes . . . their will to win, their determination, their perseverance, their ability to remain calm under pressure, their ability to bounce back from disappointments, and the belief that they deserved to win . . . . . . all attributes that not one of us is born with, but that each one of us has the power to develop. The only choice is whether we want to. It is in this sense that, given the necessary or essential physical attributes as a starting point, all champions are not only made -- they are self-made.
Review by Chris Lewis, 1983 Wimbledon finalist and owner of Tennis Experts, the online tennis equipment specialists. http://www.expert-tennis-tips.com/
Review by Chris Lewis, 1983 Wimbledon finalist and owner of Tennis Experts, the online tennis equipment specialists. http://www.expert-tennis-tips.com/
Nightmare tennis parents who don't play ball
Judy Murray tells Mark Hodgkinson about adult faults in junior sport
Never mind the kids; have you seen the parents? On Britain's junior tennis scene, it's not uncommon to see destructive and dysfunctional behaviour.Often it's not the aspiring Wimbledon champions of the future, but their sour-faced parents looking on from the side of the court, who are more deserving of being slapped down with an Asbo.The acting world's notorious "stage mums" often have nothing on "nightmare tennis parents". Every local club or junior tournament will have its "bad dad" or "mad mum": parents who are so hell-bent on their offspring growing up to become tennis stars that they will stop at nothing.Good sense and manners are squelched underfoot, and the ambitious parents usually don't realise what effect they are having on their children. Intimidating their child's opponents during matches; illegally coaching their son or daughter and screaming abuse at them if they lose: it all goes on, and ultimately it's the children who suffer."I have seen parents verbally and physically abuse their own children," Andy Murray's mother, Judy, says. "Probably the worst I ever saw was a father with his 12-year-old daughter outside the hall of an indoor tournament. He had his hand around her throat."She had just lost a match, and the father was clearly not happy about it. He was intimidating and scaring his daughter. I've seen lots of parents screaming or shouting at their kids, or ignoring them, after they've lost a match."That can put huge pressure on kids to win at a stage when the emphasis should be on fun. Most tennis parents are normal, but some lose a sense of perspective."Judy, whose oldest son, Jamie, is the defending Wimbledon mixed doubles champion, said that one of the worst things that parents do at junior level is "trying to intimidate or distract their children's opponents"."It happens quite a lot in the younger age groups, and it's quite sad to see," she says. "You see kids playing in under-10 tournaments, and there will be parents deliberately applauding when their kid's opponent makes a mistake. They call balls out from the sidelines and clap loudly if any shots land close to the lines so the opponent is afraid to call them out."Most junior matches are not umpired so when there is a disputed call, some parents try to influence the outcome, instead of letting the kids sort it out."I remember one parent trying to intimidate Andy in an under-12 boys' doubles match. The dad was applauding Andy's double-faults and shouting loudly. Andy ended up hitting a ball towards him, as if to say, 'Will you just shut up?' I've never got into arguments with other parents. It's not worth it."Judy says that parents must avoid the temptation to illegally coach their children."Some parents send on bottles of water with notes saying things like, 'Hit it to the backhand'," she says. "I've seen parents reading newspapers from behind the court during matches, with instructions written in big bold letters on the back pages. "There are parents who have devised coded signals, so if they scratch their right ear that means serve to the forehand, and if they scratch their left ear that means serving to the backhand."For nightmare tennis parents, the absolute gold standard is still Damir Dokic, a bearded former wrestler and truck driver from Serbia. Jelena Dokic's father was thrown out of a pre-Wimbledon tournament in Birmingham in 1999 after calling members of the tennis club "Nazis who supported the bombing of Yugoslavia". On the same day he was arrested after lying down in a busy road. Here is a man whose temper is beyond volcanic: he shows all the cool and calm of a man who has been gargling magma.His misdemeanours include being forcibly ejected from the US Open after arguing over the price of salmon in the players' restaurant, smashing a journalist's mobile telephone at Wimbledon and claiming that the draw at the Australian Open had been rigged against his daughter.Unsurprisingly, Jelena, who once reached the Wimbledon semi-finals, eventually decided she wanted no more to do with him. She later switched nationality, playing under the Australian flag. Damir threatened to retaliate by dropping a nuclear warhead on Australia.Mary Pierce, a grand slam champion, ended up taking out a restraining order against her father, Jim. He famously called out from the stands during one of her matches: "Go on, Mary, kill the bitch."One great danger that Judy speaks about is parents pushing their children into playing competitive tennis."It's important to know why the child is playing, as it has to be because they love tennis," she says. "Sadly, you do get instances of parents who are living their dreams through their children. The parents didn't get as far as they wanted when they were playing, so they will try to get their kids to win the tournaments for them. At the end of the day, it should all be about the kids."I'm always getting asked if I was a pushy parent. I'll admit I often had to push to make things happen but I never had to push my kids because they always wanted to play."
Read Judy Murray at www.britishtennisparents.com
Are you pushing too hard?
Do you press your nose up against the back-netting of a tennis court, and attempt to intimidate your child's opponent by loudly applauding their mistakes?
Have you devised a secret code to enable you to illegally coach your child during matches?
Do you regularly become involved in disputes over line-calls during your child's matches?
Have you ever chosen to lie about whether a ball has landed in or out?
Does your child look terrified about your reaction after they have lost a match?
Do you feel that you have more riding on your child's results than they do?
Never mind the kids; have you seen the parents? On Britain's junior tennis scene, it's not uncommon to see destructive and dysfunctional behaviour.Often it's not the aspiring Wimbledon champions of the future, but their sour-faced parents looking on from the side of the court, who are more deserving of being slapped down with an Asbo.The acting world's notorious "stage mums" often have nothing on "nightmare tennis parents". Every local club or junior tournament will have its "bad dad" or "mad mum": parents who are so hell-bent on their offspring growing up to become tennis stars that they will stop at nothing.Good sense and manners are squelched underfoot, and the ambitious parents usually don't realise what effect they are having on their children. Intimidating their child's opponents during matches; illegally coaching their son or daughter and screaming abuse at them if they lose: it all goes on, and ultimately it's the children who suffer."I have seen parents verbally and physically abuse their own children," Andy Murray's mother, Judy, says. "Probably the worst I ever saw was a father with his 12-year-old daughter outside the hall of an indoor tournament. He had his hand around her throat."She had just lost a match, and the father was clearly not happy about it. He was intimidating and scaring his daughter. I've seen lots of parents screaming or shouting at their kids, or ignoring them, after they've lost a match."That can put huge pressure on kids to win at a stage when the emphasis should be on fun. Most tennis parents are normal, but some lose a sense of perspective."Judy, whose oldest son, Jamie, is the defending Wimbledon mixed doubles champion, said that one of the worst things that parents do at junior level is "trying to intimidate or distract their children's opponents"."It happens quite a lot in the younger age groups, and it's quite sad to see," she says. "You see kids playing in under-10 tournaments, and there will be parents deliberately applauding when their kid's opponent makes a mistake. They call balls out from the sidelines and clap loudly if any shots land close to the lines so the opponent is afraid to call them out."Most junior matches are not umpired so when there is a disputed call, some parents try to influence the outcome, instead of letting the kids sort it out."I remember one parent trying to intimidate Andy in an under-12 boys' doubles match. The dad was applauding Andy's double-faults and shouting loudly. Andy ended up hitting a ball towards him, as if to say, 'Will you just shut up?' I've never got into arguments with other parents. It's not worth it."Judy says that parents must avoid the temptation to illegally coach their children."Some parents send on bottles of water with notes saying things like, 'Hit it to the backhand'," she says. "I've seen parents reading newspapers from behind the court during matches, with instructions written in big bold letters on the back pages. "There are parents who have devised coded signals, so if they scratch their right ear that means serve to the forehand, and if they scratch their left ear that means serving to the backhand."For nightmare tennis parents, the absolute gold standard is still Damir Dokic, a bearded former wrestler and truck driver from Serbia. Jelena Dokic's father was thrown out of a pre-Wimbledon tournament in Birmingham in 1999 after calling members of the tennis club "Nazis who supported the bombing of Yugoslavia". On the same day he was arrested after lying down in a busy road. Here is a man whose temper is beyond volcanic: he shows all the cool and calm of a man who has been gargling magma.His misdemeanours include being forcibly ejected from the US Open after arguing over the price of salmon in the players' restaurant, smashing a journalist's mobile telephone at Wimbledon and claiming that the draw at the Australian Open had been rigged against his daughter.Unsurprisingly, Jelena, who once reached the Wimbledon semi-finals, eventually decided she wanted no more to do with him. She later switched nationality, playing under the Australian flag. Damir threatened to retaliate by dropping a nuclear warhead on Australia.Mary Pierce, a grand slam champion, ended up taking out a restraining order against her father, Jim. He famously called out from the stands during one of her matches: "Go on, Mary, kill the bitch."One great danger that Judy speaks about is parents pushing their children into playing competitive tennis."It's important to know why the child is playing, as it has to be because they love tennis," she says. "Sadly, you do get instances of parents who are living their dreams through their children. The parents didn't get as far as they wanted when they were playing, so they will try to get their kids to win the tournaments for them. At the end of the day, it should all be about the kids."I'm always getting asked if I was a pushy parent. I'll admit I often had to push to make things happen but I never had to push my kids because they always wanted to play."
Read Judy Murray at www.britishtennisparents.com
Are you pushing too hard?
Do you press your nose up against the back-netting of a tennis court, and attempt to intimidate your child's opponent by loudly applauding their mistakes?
Have you devised a secret code to enable you to illegally coach your child during matches?
Do you regularly become involved in disputes over line-calls during your child's matches?
Have you ever chosen to lie about whether a ball has landed in or out?
Does your child look terrified about your reaction after they have lost a match?
Do you feel that you have more riding on your child's results than they do?
12 Key Questions for Young Athletes
By Cal Botterill & Tom Patrick
1. Are you enjoying the process of sport or are you worrying about the outcomes?Young and elite athletes who enjoy the process of sport have a big advantage over those worrying about outcomes. It's impossible to fully focus on the process of performing well, if one is worrying about outcomes. Motivation from within (intrinsic motivation) is much more suited to excellence and enjoyment than motivation for outcomes. Enjoying sport for its own sake is much more likely to produce excellence and enjoyment than extrinsic motivation. Advantages of intrinsic motivation include:
• Better focus on task
• Less tension/pressure
• Better images/thoughts
• Less fluctuation in motivation Remember why you started sport.
In all likelihood, it was because it was fun and you enjoyed the process. If you maintain this focus, you are much more likely to continue until you get good. They say it takes up to 10,000 hours of practice to become an expert.More importantly you will perform better and have more fun.The best athletes focus on the process and let the results take care of themselves. Prior to the gold medal game at the 2002 Olympics and 2004 World Cup of Hockey, Wayne Gretzky reminded Canada's players “to enjoy the process”. Many of the top World Cup skiers are so focused on the process that they don't even check results until they haverehearsed an even better run in those circumstances in their mind. Now that's focusing on excellence & the process. For enjoyment & performance, adjust your motivation intrinsically.
2. Are you striving to succeed or to avoid failure?Most of us perform far better when our orientation is want to vs. have to. If we have a game plan, we are less prone to fear of failure. Trying to avoid failure is loaded with difficulties:
• Negative images
• Tension/fear
• Less effective focus
• Possible negative fulfilling prophecyTry golfing to avoid failure.
Whatever you do, don't hit the ball in the water. We all know what is likely to happen with that outlook. Approaching success is much more effective than trying to avoid failure. Deal with your fears early by preparing your responses and game plan. Then you can enjoy the challenges of competition. A Chinese proverb suggests that CHALLENGE = OPPORTUNITY. It’s a great way to look at things to avoidfailure tendency.It will keep us busy with the process rather than becoming fearful of outcomes.
3. Does being the underdog, a contender, or the favourite make a difference?In theory, if we stay focused on the process it shouldn't make a big difference if we are considered underdog, contender or favourite. However, because we are human, it is easy for these perceptions to start influencing our perspective. The underdog has nothing to lose, so they are less prone to fear-of-failure. Their main task is just to believe they are capable.When one becomes a contender, it is easy to begin to feel pressure from yourself and those around you. Ironically, feelings of pressure can often increase when you experience temporary success in competition. Our fear of not being able to continue at that level can often trigger an avoid failure response (tension, too conservative, poor focus) due to outcome concerns. Being emotionally ready for temporary swings in scores can help prevent this problem.Being the favourite is the toughest. Expectations to succeed can often trigger irrational feelings of pressure. Smart performers realize that there are always process things to be working on. Speed Skaters like Catriona Lemay-Doan and Jeremy Wotherspoon are always focused on improving their race plan and execution, despite usually being considered the favourite. This has helped them maintain an effective focus and keepgetting better.One of the best responses to pressure came from former NBA star Magic Johnson. His comment was “What pressure, I'm glad they are interested”. He's right - pressure is a perception - and if you have a great perspective, it doesn't have to be an issue. Enjoy sport, enjoy opportunities and challenges and it won't matter whether you are underdog,contender, or favourite.
4. Do you rehearse strategies, execution, & feelings for every competition?Every good performer spends some time mentally and emotionally rehearsing theirgame plan. Mental rehearsal prepares our body for action and produces a feeling ofreadiness and confidence. It's not possible to rehearse everything that will happen in competition but it's extremely valuable to rehearse the main elements of one's game plan.It's a good idea to do your rehearsal early on competition day, so you can enjoy the countdown. Rehearsing early, while your mind is clear, often has the most powerful effect. Occasional spontaneous rehearsal often happens but 10-20 minutes of quality preparation can often help you feel ready and help you enjoy the countdown to competition.The main part of preparation is usually going over one's strategies and execution in different situations. Focus on your performance rather than spending too much time on your opponents. Also rehearse responses to some of the feelings you may have in competition. Fear,anger,guilt,embarrassment, surprise, happiness and sadness are common emotional feelings in sport. Rehearsing a response to things that will trigger them is a form of emotional inoculation. When the feelings actually happen, you are much more ready for them and your response is better.Rehearse so you are ready for the show and enjoy it more.
5. Are you worried about how you look or enjoying what you are doing?As human beings we are socially conscious. We often wonder or worry about how we look. If we are performing in front of friends, family, audiences, scouts, media, etc., this is often an unfortunate trap. People, who worry about how they look, seldom look good.Ironically, those who are not self-conscious and are just fully enjoying their activity always look and perform the best. Total focus and engagement is what makes you look great. Be yourself and enjoy what you are doing.The key to solving this self-conscious tendency is self-acceptance. If we know who we are, where our support is and how we want to live, we stop worrying so much about what others think. It frees us up to be ourselves and be what we can be. Dr. Matt Brown found these elements in interviews of Canada’s top character athletes. He believes these things contribute to a better perspective in sport and life. Working on self-acceptance and perspective in the emotional world of sport can help us realize more of our potential in life.
6. Do irrational beliefs creep in on you?Journalist Scott Taylor once suggested “The great thing about sport is that it enables us to care passionately about something that really doesn’t matter”. It’s true. Sport enjoys an almost ridiculous status in life. In light of the importance community and global challenges, sport probably doesn't really deserve such status. However, because we do get so passionate about sport, it is a great place to learn about emotions and staying rational.Watch out for the following irrational beliefs that can interfere with one’s enjoyment and performance in sport. Sometimes they can also interfere with our recovery and health.They happen because of the irrational status and significance often given sport.
1. My self-worth is on the line. Our self-worth in life should be about many more things than a moment in sport. Make sure there is more to you than being a jock. Family member, community member, student, friend, teammate, citizen of the world are all part of a healthy rational identity. Put sport back in perspective.
2. I must be perfect. By definition this is impossible but in sport we often startthinking and feeling this way. The pursuit of excellence is highly commendablebut expectations of perfection are irrational and often very dysfunctional. Free yourself up to take chances and excel. Leave perfection for theobsessive. It’s who responds best to their mistakes that usually wins.
3. I must perform for others. Guilt can be a deadly emotion. Wanting to perform for others can be a powerful motivator and focus. Perceptions of have to as discussed earlier can destroy our focus and confidence. Perform with a clear mind and an unburdened heart. Don’t let guilt (unintentional or not) develop from privileges you have been provided. Discuss this with parents, teammates and sponsors so you can do things for the right reasons.
4. The world must be fair. Unfortunately it often isn’t. Sport is a good place to begin learning how to cope with the reality that the world isn’t always fair. Certainly we should always fight for justice but an irrational belief that the world must always be fair can cause a lot of agony and heartbreak and hurt one’s coping capability.Become a leader who can focus and perform through injustice.The raison d’etre of sport is to teach us how to stay rational in an irrational world. Enjoy the challenge.
7. Do you enjoy positive rivalries with opponents and teammates?Positive rivalries have many advantages over negative rivalries in sport and life. Have you learned to embrace positive rivalries and enjoy the many payoffs? With positive rivalries, everything is positive. You respect and appreciate those you are competing with. Your mindset is “I hope you are good, because that makes me better and that’s good for both of us”. This attitude clearly brings out the best in everyone.Golfer Tiger Woods enjoys positive rivalries with his fellow golfers. He admires and enjoys the challenge when his competitors perform well. This attitude has helped him perform superbly when being tested by a strong opponent. Susan Auch & CatrionaLemay-Doan developed a positive rivalry on their own team that enabled them to finish 1st and 2nd in the 500 metre Olympic Speed Skating Race in Nagano, Japan. Wayne Gretzky became Canada’s leader in hockey because he loved playing the best. As a player, captain, and now manager and leader, Wayne loves positive rivalries. His play in Canada Cups, Stanley Cup finals, and the Olympics is legendary. He knew playing the best brought out the best in him. The respect he has for the game and the people whoplay it is amazing.Keep your rivalries positive. When they slip and become negative, a lot of things deteriorate:
• Fear of failure creeps in
• Tension/pressure builds
• Negative images occur (that usually hurt you)
• Focus/concentration deteriorates
• Perspective disappears
The person into negative rivalries is at a significant disadvantage in terms of focus, enjoyment and performance. Appreciate and respect your competition. It will bring out the best in you and make for great team dynamics.Where would we be without our competitors? Think about pick-up games where the competition is intense but the welfare of the participants is always the priority. If rivalries turn negative, no one will play. It’s a lesson for life.
8. Do you draw lessons after every competition?If you were an astronaut, you would debrief after every flight or exercise. When lives are at stake, it is critical to draw lessons from every experience. The exercise is not just to identify mistakes but also to see and recognize solutions. We should do the same in sport. There is no point in feeling bad indefinitely about our mistakes. The key is to see the solution like great performers do, then look forward to the next opportunity. Hopefully your coach helps you with accurate attributions after a competition. Effort,ability, task difficulty, and luck can all play roles in most sport outcomes. If your coach doesn't clarify attributions, seek out a trusted teammate, decide what you have learned and what you need to do next time. Once you have seen the solutions, it's time to let go and get some recovery.
9. How important is recovery?Most people realize how important it is to train if you are an athlete. You need to develop the capacities to perform well. Equally important, however, is your state. If you are not well nourished, rested and hydrated, most of your capacities will be masked or lost.Training can be a waste of time if you don't take pride in recovery. Releasing from worry, stretching properly, massage, hydration, good nutrition, rest and enjoyable activities are all part of recovery. Take pride in both passive and active recovery activities. It’s the only way to make sure your training pays off the way it should.Remember that recovery is mental and emotional as well as physical. Mental overload will affect your mental capacities and emotional fatigue can affect all capacities.Managing school and relationship demands can really affect your state and therefore your capacities.Recovery is an important concept in sport and in life. Get good at it early.
10. Do you focus on the four areas of development between competitions?There are four important areas of development for every athlete. Skill development is obviously important and requires lots of quality practice. Although a certain amount of quantity training is necessary for skill development, quality is probably the most important consideration. As well, for creative skill development, some time for exploration, trying things, taking risks, etc. can be important. Many of the very best, including Gretzky, suggest we shouldn't underestimate the potential of pick-up games forskill development.Strategy development is the second major area. Every performer should have a game plan that involves the key strategies, cues and responses. Game plans should be simple enough to avoid overload yet comprehensive enough to hold focus. Simple wellexecuted strategies usually beat complex strategies that confuse or overload. Err on the side of simplicity.Fitness development is the third component of development and preparation. It involves developing cardio-vascular fitness, flexibility and muscular strength and endurance.Physical training loads should be progressive as you mature but recovery should also be kept a priority. Team training can help make physical training enjoyable.Psychological preparation and development is the fourth component. Although this area is often the last to be considered, top athletes like Olympic Diving Gold Medallist Sylvia Bernier believe good psychology can help you develop in all the other areas. Imagery can help you learn and train better. Relaxation can help recovery. Game plans can help you focus and execute strategies. Psychology can help you to get to know yourselfbetter and develop a strong perspective. It can help you with team and interpersonal skills, pre-competition plans, focus plans, refocusing strategies, emotional management and debriefing. Take pride in all four areas of development. It is all part of helping you realize your potential.
11. Do you get the support you deserve?To realize our potential we all need support. We all need challenge from time to time as well but support is a primary need. Ideally some of that support is unconditional which means we feel loved for who we are, not for what we accomplish. People who have that kind of support usually feel more secure, have a better perspective and as psychologistAbraham Maslow suggests, have a better chance to actualize their potential. Hopefully you feel unconditional support from some of the key people in your life. If you don't,explore some of the key relationships in your life. Sometimes support has accidentally and unintentionally come to feel conditional. It’s hard to perform well in sport and life if you feel support is always conditional on how you perform.Good caring two-way communication, where you interview one another, can help with rediscovering unconditional support or love. If unconditional support is not in the traditional places (eg. parents), invest in the people you admire and trust the most. It might be a friend, a grandparent, a teacher, a coach, or a relative. We all need a few people who can remind us who we are in simple non-judgmental ways.Belief starts with being accepted by others. Find those who accept you for who you are and take pride in those relationships. We all deserve support but sometimes we have to find it. Life is a team game.
12. Do you think sport is good preparation for life?Like life, we don't always get everything we deserve in sport. Sport is a great place to work on our persistence and coping skills when things don’t go the way we want. We start to learn what is within our control and what is beyond our control. We can also learn how to support one another under pressure, so refocusing is not so difficult.We can learn a good work ethic and improve our persistence and resilience. We can learn how to manage our emotions and become an exciting mix of caring and character.We can learn more about who we are and the importance of values. We can learn about teamwork, collective belief and human potential.There are impressive possibilities but no guarantees. Sport has tremendous potential in many ways. For some it has led to drug abuse, eating disorders, violence, cheating, gambling, discrimination and lost souls. Approach this powerful vehicle with perspective, not dependency. Participate on your terms, so you get where you want to go and realizeyour positive potential.
1. Are you enjoying the process of sport or are you worrying about the outcomes?Young and elite athletes who enjoy the process of sport have a big advantage over those worrying about outcomes. It's impossible to fully focus on the process of performing well, if one is worrying about outcomes. Motivation from within (intrinsic motivation) is much more suited to excellence and enjoyment than motivation for outcomes. Enjoying sport for its own sake is much more likely to produce excellence and enjoyment than extrinsic motivation. Advantages of intrinsic motivation include:
• Better focus on task
• Less tension/pressure
• Better images/thoughts
• Less fluctuation in motivation Remember why you started sport.
In all likelihood, it was because it was fun and you enjoyed the process. If you maintain this focus, you are much more likely to continue until you get good. They say it takes up to 10,000 hours of practice to become an expert.More importantly you will perform better and have more fun.The best athletes focus on the process and let the results take care of themselves. Prior to the gold medal game at the 2002 Olympics and 2004 World Cup of Hockey, Wayne Gretzky reminded Canada's players “to enjoy the process”. Many of the top World Cup skiers are so focused on the process that they don't even check results until they haverehearsed an even better run in those circumstances in their mind. Now that's focusing on excellence & the process. For enjoyment & performance, adjust your motivation intrinsically.
2. Are you striving to succeed or to avoid failure?Most of us perform far better when our orientation is want to vs. have to. If we have a game plan, we are less prone to fear of failure. Trying to avoid failure is loaded with difficulties:
• Negative images
• Tension/fear
• Less effective focus
• Possible negative fulfilling prophecyTry golfing to avoid failure.
Whatever you do, don't hit the ball in the water. We all know what is likely to happen with that outlook. Approaching success is much more effective than trying to avoid failure. Deal with your fears early by preparing your responses and game plan. Then you can enjoy the challenges of competition. A Chinese proverb suggests that CHALLENGE = OPPORTUNITY. It’s a great way to look at things to avoidfailure tendency.It will keep us busy with the process rather than becoming fearful of outcomes.
3. Does being the underdog, a contender, or the favourite make a difference?In theory, if we stay focused on the process it shouldn't make a big difference if we are considered underdog, contender or favourite. However, because we are human, it is easy for these perceptions to start influencing our perspective. The underdog has nothing to lose, so they are less prone to fear-of-failure. Their main task is just to believe they are capable.When one becomes a contender, it is easy to begin to feel pressure from yourself and those around you. Ironically, feelings of pressure can often increase when you experience temporary success in competition. Our fear of not being able to continue at that level can often trigger an avoid failure response (tension, too conservative, poor focus) due to outcome concerns. Being emotionally ready for temporary swings in scores can help prevent this problem.Being the favourite is the toughest. Expectations to succeed can often trigger irrational feelings of pressure. Smart performers realize that there are always process things to be working on. Speed Skaters like Catriona Lemay-Doan and Jeremy Wotherspoon are always focused on improving their race plan and execution, despite usually being considered the favourite. This has helped them maintain an effective focus and keepgetting better.One of the best responses to pressure came from former NBA star Magic Johnson. His comment was “What pressure, I'm glad they are interested”. He's right - pressure is a perception - and if you have a great perspective, it doesn't have to be an issue. Enjoy sport, enjoy opportunities and challenges and it won't matter whether you are underdog,contender, or favourite.
4. Do you rehearse strategies, execution, & feelings for every competition?Every good performer spends some time mentally and emotionally rehearsing theirgame plan. Mental rehearsal prepares our body for action and produces a feeling ofreadiness and confidence. It's not possible to rehearse everything that will happen in competition but it's extremely valuable to rehearse the main elements of one's game plan.It's a good idea to do your rehearsal early on competition day, so you can enjoy the countdown. Rehearsing early, while your mind is clear, often has the most powerful effect. Occasional spontaneous rehearsal often happens but 10-20 minutes of quality preparation can often help you feel ready and help you enjoy the countdown to competition.The main part of preparation is usually going over one's strategies and execution in different situations. Focus on your performance rather than spending too much time on your opponents. Also rehearse responses to some of the feelings you may have in competition. Fear,anger,guilt,embarrassment, surprise, happiness and sadness are common emotional feelings in sport. Rehearsing a response to things that will trigger them is a form of emotional inoculation. When the feelings actually happen, you are much more ready for them and your response is better.Rehearse so you are ready for the show and enjoy it more.
5. Are you worried about how you look or enjoying what you are doing?As human beings we are socially conscious. We often wonder or worry about how we look. If we are performing in front of friends, family, audiences, scouts, media, etc., this is often an unfortunate trap. People, who worry about how they look, seldom look good.Ironically, those who are not self-conscious and are just fully enjoying their activity always look and perform the best. Total focus and engagement is what makes you look great. Be yourself and enjoy what you are doing.The key to solving this self-conscious tendency is self-acceptance. If we know who we are, where our support is and how we want to live, we stop worrying so much about what others think. It frees us up to be ourselves and be what we can be. Dr. Matt Brown found these elements in interviews of Canada’s top character athletes. He believes these things contribute to a better perspective in sport and life. Working on self-acceptance and perspective in the emotional world of sport can help us realize more of our potential in life.
6. Do irrational beliefs creep in on you?Journalist Scott Taylor once suggested “The great thing about sport is that it enables us to care passionately about something that really doesn’t matter”. It’s true. Sport enjoys an almost ridiculous status in life. In light of the importance community and global challenges, sport probably doesn't really deserve such status. However, because we do get so passionate about sport, it is a great place to learn about emotions and staying rational.Watch out for the following irrational beliefs that can interfere with one’s enjoyment and performance in sport. Sometimes they can also interfere with our recovery and health.They happen because of the irrational status and significance often given sport.
1. My self-worth is on the line. Our self-worth in life should be about many more things than a moment in sport. Make sure there is more to you than being a jock. Family member, community member, student, friend, teammate, citizen of the world are all part of a healthy rational identity. Put sport back in perspective.
2. I must be perfect. By definition this is impossible but in sport we often startthinking and feeling this way. The pursuit of excellence is highly commendablebut expectations of perfection are irrational and often very dysfunctional. Free yourself up to take chances and excel. Leave perfection for theobsessive. It’s who responds best to their mistakes that usually wins.
3. I must perform for others. Guilt can be a deadly emotion. Wanting to perform for others can be a powerful motivator and focus. Perceptions of have to as discussed earlier can destroy our focus and confidence. Perform with a clear mind and an unburdened heart. Don’t let guilt (unintentional or not) develop from privileges you have been provided. Discuss this with parents, teammates and sponsors so you can do things for the right reasons.
4. The world must be fair. Unfortunately it often isn’t. Sport is a good place to begin learning how to cope with the reality that the world isn’t always fair. Certainly we should always fight for justice but an irrational belief that the world must always be fair can cause a lot of agony and heartbreak and hurt one’s coping capability.Become a leader who can focus and perform through injustice.The raison d’etre of sport is to teach us how to stay rational in an irrational world. Enjoy the challenge.
7. Do you enjoy positive rivalries with opponents and teammates?Positive rivalries have many advantages over negative rivalries in sport and life. Have you learned to embrace positive rivalries and enjoy the many payoffs? With positive rivalries, everything is positive. You respect and appreciate those you are competing with. Your mindset is “I hope you are good, because that makes me better and that’s good for both of us”. This attitude clearly brings out the best in everyone.Golfer Tiger Woods enjoys positive rivalries with his fellow golfers. He admires and enjoys the challenge when his competitors perform well. This attitude has helped him perform superbly when being tested by a strong opponent. Susan Auch & CatrionaLemay-Doan developed a positive rivalry on their own team that enabled them to finish 1st and 2nd in the 500 metre Olympic Speed Skating Race in Nagano, Japan. Wayne Gretzky became Canada’s leader in hockey because he loved playing the best. As a player, captain, and now manager and leader, Wayne loves positive rivalries. His play in Canada Cups, Stanley Cup finals, and the Olympics is legendary. He knew playing the best brought out the best in him. The respect he has for the game and the people whoplay it is amazing.Keep your rivalries positive. When they slip and become negative, a lot of things deteriorate:
• Fear of failure creeps in
• Tension/pressure builds
• Negative images occur (that usually hurt you)
• Focus/concentration deteriorates
• Perspective disappears
The person into negative rivalries is at a significant disadvantage in terms of focus, enjoyment and performance. Appreciate and respect your competition. It will bring out the best in you and make for great team dynamics.Where would we be without our competitors? Think about pick-up games where the competition is intense but the welfare of the participants is always the priority. If rivalries turn negative, no one will play. It’s a lesson for life.
8. Do you draw lessons after every competition?If you were an astronaut, you would debrief after every flight or exercise. When lives are at stake, it is critical to draw lessons from every experience. The exercise is not just to identify mistakes but also to see and recognize solutions. We should do the same in sport. There is no point in feeling bad indefinitely about our mistakes. The key is to see the solution like great performers do, then look forward to the next opportunity. Hopefully your coach helps you with accurate attributions after a competition. Effort,ability, task difficulty, and luck can all play roles in most sport outcomes. If your coach doesn't clarify attributions, seek out a trusted teammate, decide what you have learned and what you need to do next time. Once you have seen the solutions, it's time to let go and get some recovery.
9. How important is recovery?Most people realize how important it is to train if you are an athlete. You need to develop the capacities to perform well. Equally important, however, is your state. If you are not well nourished, rested and hydrated, most of your capacities will be masked or lost.Training can be a waste of time if you don't take pride in recovery. Releasing from worry, stretching properly, massage, hydration, good nutrition, rest and enjoyable activities are all part of recovery. Take pride in both passive and active recovery activities. It’s the only way to make sure your training pays off the way it should.Remember that recovery is mental and emotional as well as physical. Mental overload will affect your mental capacities and emotional fatigue can affect all capacities.Managing school and relationship demands can really affect your state and therefore your capacities.Recovery is an important concept in sport and in life. Get good at it early.
10. Do you focus on the four areas of development between competitions?There are four important areas of development for every athlete. Skill development is obviously important and requires lots of quality practice. Although a certain amount of quantity training is necessary for skill development, quality is probably the most important consideration. As well, for creative skill development, some time for exploration, trying things, taking risks, etc. can be important. Many of the very best, including Gretzky, suggest we shouldn't underestimate the potential of pick-up games forskill development.Strategy development is the second major area. Every performer should have a game plan that involves the key strategies, cues and responses. Game plans should be simple enough to avoid overload yet comprehensive enough to hold focus. Simple wellexecuted strategies usually beat complex strategies that confuse or overload. Err on the side of simplicity.Fitness development is the third component of development and preparation. It involves developing cardio-vascular fitness, flexibility and muscular strength and endurance.Physical training loads should be progressive as you mature but recovery should also be kept a priority. Team training can help make physical training enjoyable.Psychological preparation and development is the fourth component. Although this area is often the last to be considered, top athletes like Olympic Diving Gold Medallist Sylvia Bernier believe good psychology can help you develop in all the other areas. Imagery can help you learn and train better. Relaxation can help recovery. Game plans can help you focus and execute strategies. Psychology can help you to get to know yourselfbetter and develop a strong perspective. It can help you with team and interpersonal skills, pre-competition plans, focus plans, refocusing strategies, emotional management and debriefing. Take pride in all four areas of development. It is all part of helping you realize your potential.
11. Do you get the support you deserve?To realize our potential we all need support. We all need challenge from time to time as well but support is a primary need. Ideally some of that support is unconditional which means we feel loved for who we are, not for what we accomplish. People who have that kind of support usually feel more secure, have a better perspective and as psychologistAbraham Maslow suggests, have a better chance to actualize their potential. Hopefully you feel unconditional support from some of the key people in your life. If you don't,explore some of the key relationships in your life. Sometimes support has accidentally and unintentionally come to feel conditional. It’s hard to perform well in sport and life if you feel support is always conditional on how you perform.Good caring two-way communication, where you interview one another, can help with rediscovering unconditional support or love. If unconditional support is not in the traditional places (eg. parents), invest in the people you admire and trust the most. It might be a friend, a grandparent, a teacher, a coach, or a relative. We all need a few people who can remind us who we are in simple non-judgmental ways.Belief starts with being accepted by others. Find those who accept you for who you are and take pride in those relationships. We all deserve support but sometimes we have to find it. Life is a team game.
12. Do you think sport is good preparation for life?Like life, we don't always get everything we deserve in sport. Sport is a great place to work on our persistence and coping skills when things don’t go the way we want. We start to learn what is within our control and what is beyond our control. We can also learn how to support one another under pressure, so refocusing is not so difficult.We can learn a good work ethic and improve our persistence and resilience. We can learn how to manage our emotions and become an exciting mix of caring and character.We can learn more about who we are and the importance of values. We can learn about teamwork, collective belief and human potential.There are impressive possibilities but no guarantees. Sport has tremendous potential in many ways. For some it has led to drug abuse, eating disorders, violence, cheating, gambling, discrimination and lost souls. Approach this powerful vehicle with perspective, not dependency. Participate on your terms, so you get where you want to go and realizeyour positive potential.
Being A Better Tennis Parent
(The term parent is used throughout this document but should be considered a generic term for those who have parental responsibility i.e. a guardian or carer.)Research has shown that tennis is one of the healthiest, least injurious sports youngsters can play. Tennis is a lifetime sport. It builds self-confidence and self-esteem. It teaches self-discipline, self-reliance and respect for others. But, above all, it provides a good way of performing physical exercise whilst having fun. Today, more children than ever before are taking part in tennis.However, there’s a big difference between learning the basic strokes to play the game at recreational level, and competing successfully at a high level.Individual competitive sports like tennis usually teach the youngsters to work hard, to learn to manage stress to perform under pressure, and test emotional and physical balance. However, they can also impose pressures which are damaging if handled wrongly.Sometimes competitive junior tennis can be especially difficult for both parents and children because there are many factors which affect this competitive environment which are usually new for everybody.For parents, competitive tennis can become a complex experience, especially if they themselves have not played at a competitive level before. For youngsters, problems occur because too often, the demands that competitive tennis place on them seem to lie beyond their control and abilities.You, as a parent, want to help your child to manage this new situation, as you do in other aspects of your child’s life: school, friends, family, etc. You want your child to be happy, to have fun and to learn to play tennis to a reasonable level. No doubt that’s why you encouraged them to be involved in the sport in the first place. Being a parent can be a difficult task, and it can be even more difficult to be a good parent of a tennis player. To know what is best to do to help your child and also when and where to do it is not easy.There are a lot of questions to ask but it is difficult to know who to ask, and for the most part, there are no clear answers or guidelines to follow. Many problems occur because parents are unsure as to how they can best help their child and so use their natural instincts. In doing this, they go wrong far more often than they go right. Interestingly enough, research has shown that the support and interest of the parents is crucial to the child’s continued participation in tennis. However, it has also shown that much of the physical and emotional stress affecting the games of junior tennis players is caused by their parents. The consequences of excessive stress in junior competitive tennis are uniformly negative and often lead to burnout. Moreover, if parents put unnecessary pressure on their child, this also can damage their parent/child relationship.The reality is that parents have a very important role to play in their child’s tennis activity, whatever the level of participation. Parents need, however, to be prepared for this role.Hence the reason for this document which has been written to help you, the parent, to perform better within the highly complex and sometimes confusing world of tennis, depending, of course, at which level your child will be playing. It is written to inform and to provide guidelines on how to best help your child and to ensure that you, as well as your child, enjoy your involvement in tennis. We hope that you find the information useful in your tennis parent role wherever in the world it may be.
T.I. fact sheet 33
T.I. fact sheet 33
Parents and Tennis As A Sport
• Focus mostly on performance rather than on tennis results only or outcomes.
• Reward effort/hard work ahead of success. AVOID rewarding only results.
• Promote the perspective that tennis is only a sport emphasising its value as a preparation for life. Don’t make tennis bigger than life by, for instance, placing more importance on tennis than schoolwork.
• As a tennis parent, try to understand and have empathy with the emotional pressures and the complexity of the sport itself. AVOID underestimating the stresses of an individual sport like tennis.
• Give your children tasks and responsibilities which will in time, build self-confidence and independence.
• Ensure that the tennis competitive experience is a positive one, principally from the perspective of developing the person. Emphasise the important elements of sportsmanship, ethics, personal development, responsibility and a positive attitude towards others and, by doing so, share with your child a healthy interest in a great sport. Don’t allow training and competition to become a negative experience for you or your child.
• Realise that children not only have the right to participate in tennis but also, to choose not to participate.
• Let your child know you care and are there if they need you to help them. Don’t become over involved in your child’s tennis.• Be prepared to listen and learn. AVOID thinking that you know everything about tennis.
T.I.fact sheet 33
• Reward effort/hard work ahead of success. AVOID rewarding only results.
• Promote the perspective that tennis is only a sport emphasising its value as a preparation for life. Don’t make tennis bigger than life by, for instance, placing more importance on tennis than schoolwork.
• As a tennis parent, try to understand and have empathy with the emotional pressures and the complexity of the sport itself. AVOID underestimating the stresses of an individual sport like tennis.
• Give your children tasks and responsibilities which will in time, build self-confidence and independence.
• Ensure that the tennis competitive experience is a positive one, principally from the perspective of developing the person. Emphasise the important elements of sportsmanship, ethics, personal development, responsibility and a positive attitude towards others and, by doing so, share with your child a healthy interest in a great sport. Don’t allow training and competition to become a negative experience for you or your child.
• Realise that children not only have the right to participate in tennis but also, to choose not to participate.
• Let your child know you care and are there if they need you to help them. Don’t become over involved in your child’s tennis.• Be prepared to listen and learn. AVOID thinking that you know everything about tennis.
T.I.fact sheet 33
Parents and Their Sons and Daughters
• Be ready to help emotionally and offer encouragement especially when your children face hard times. Do not use punishment and withdrawal of love, affection and warmth to get your children to try harder or perform better.
• Make your child feel valuable and reinforce his self-esteem especially when s/he loses. AVOID criticising your children’s results.
• Clearly state that your child is playing and you will be there encouraging him/her if he wants you to be. Do not make statements like, “We’re playing today,” as if you were going to be on court too.
• Recognise your child’s achievements in tennis but keep their feet firmly on the ground by keeping sporting results in perspective. AVOID placing them on a pedestal.
• Emphasise that, “Win or lose, I love you just the same”. Do not get upset or treat your child differently when s/he loses.
• Stay throughout the match and show your child you care and you value his or her effort by not overreacting to positive or negative situations. Don’t walk away from a match because your child is doing badly.
• Ask questions such as, How was the Match? How did you play? Did you enjoy it? which show you care about your child and their performance/ enjoyment rather than the result. AVOID asking, “Did you win?” after your child comes back from a match.
• AVOID over training and burnout. Don’t forget that your child is still growing.
• Be supportive (financially and otherwise), reinforcing that you are happy to support your child’s involvement in tennis. AVOID fostering guilt by making your child feel that he owes you for the time, money and sacrifices you have made.
• Try to encourage your child to be independent and to think for himself/ herself. Do not coach from the sidelines.
• Following a loss by your child, keep the loss in perspective by emphasising that it is only a tennis match. However bad the result was, the world hasn’t come to an end and the sun will come up again tomorrow. Do not verbally abuse your child particularly following a loss.
• Try to be honest and consistent when communicating with your child about his tennis. Do not tell lies.
• Encourage your child to take responsibility for their success or failure and to face up to the reality of the match and their actions. (e.g. “it was the same surface for both of you”). The main objective should be, whatever the conditions, to help them to focus on trying their best. Then they will always be “true winners”. AVOID making excuses for your child (“the court was too slow”, “the opponent was lucky”, blame the umpire etc.).
• Show your interest in your child’s tennis by attending events occasionally. However, AVOID attending every practice and every match.
• Let the coach decide how much your child should practice. AVOID criticising your child for failure to play more tennis, or forcing him/her to train. Remember, when it comes to training, quality is more important than quantity.
• Understand the risks and look for the signs of stress (sleeplessness, hypercriticism, cheating, etc.). Be sensitive to your child’s expressions of insecurity and anxiety resulting from their involvement in competitive sport.
• The only expectation that you should have from your child’s involvement in tennis is that playing tennis will help him/ her to become a better person and athlete. Anything else will be a bonus. Do not assume or expect that your child will become a successful professional tennis player.
• Encourage your child to play other sports, to build relationships and to participate in other activities. AVOID forcing your child to focus entirely on tennis.
• Compare your child’s progress with his/ her own abilities/ goals. Do not compare your child’s progress with that of other children.
• Try to motivate your child in a positive and caring way (e.g. positive reinforcement). A ratio of 3:1 positive comments to each negative one is a good guide for giving effective feedback to your child. Do not harass or use sarcasm to motivate your child.
• Ensure your child respects the principles of good sportsmanship, behaviour and ethics. Do not ignore your child’s poor behaviour (cheating, using abusive language or treating others with disrespect) or overlooking critical areas of your child’s development at the expense of tennis. If this type of behaviour occurs, get involved quickly and be prepared to act if his behaviour is unacceptable.
• Reward your child for what s/he is as a human being not as a tennis player. Do not tie special privileges, prizes, external rewards, etc., to winning in tennis.
• Understand that you and your child need to share other interests and will often need a break from tennis. AVOID arguing or spending too much time speaking about tennis with your child.
• Yours child’s welfare and well being is the most important thing. Do not let your child’s tennis become more important to you than your child.
• Realise that tennis players usually need some space when they lose. A pat on the back or an unemotional word of encouragement is often sufficient as the player leaves the court. You can discuss the match when they are less emotional.
T.I. fact sheet 33
• Make your child feel valuable and reinforce his self-esteem especially when s/he loses. AVOID criticising your children’s results.
• Clearly state that your child is playing and you will be there encouraging him/her if he wants you to be. Do not make statements like, “We’re playing today,” as if you were going to be on court too.
• Recognise your child’s achievements in tennis but keep their feet firmly on the ground by keeping sporting results in perspective. AVOID placing them on a pedestal.
• Emphasise that, “Win or lose, I love you just the same”. Do not get upset or treat your child differently when s/he loses.
• Stay throughout the match and show your child you care and you value his or her effort by not overreacting to positive or negative situations. Don’t walk away from a match because your child is doing badly.
• Ask questions such as, How was the Match? How did you play? Did you enjoy it? which show you care about your child and their performance/ enjoyment rather than the result. AVOID asking, “Did you win?” after your child comes back from a match.
• AVOID over training and burnout. Don’t forget that your child is still growing.
• Be supportive (financially and otherwise), reinforcing that you are happy to support your child’s involvement in tennis. AVOID fostering guilt by making your child feel that he owes you for the time, money and sacrifices you have made.
• Try to encourage your child to be independent and to think for himself/ herself. Do not coach from the sidelines.
• Following a loss by your child, keep the loss in perspective by emphasising that it is only a tennis match. However bad the result was, the world hasn’t come to an end and the sun will come up again tomorrow. Do not verbally abuse your child particularly following a loss.
• Try to be honest and consistent when communicating with your child about his tennis. Do not tell lies.
• Encourage your child to take responsibility for their success or failure and to face up to the reality of the match and their actions. (e.g. “it was the same surface for both of you”). The main objective should be, whatever the conditions, to help them to focus on trying their best. Then they will always be “true winners”. AVOID making excuses for your child (“the court was too slow”, “the opponent was lucky”, blame the umpire etc.).
• Show your interest in your child’s tennis by attending events occasionally. However, AVOID attending every practice and every match.
• Let the coach decide how much your child should practice. AVOID criticising your child for failure to play more tennis, or forcing him/her to train. Remember, when it comes to training, quality is more important than quantity.
• Understand the risks and look for the signs of stress (sleeplessness, hypercriticism, cheating, etc.). Be sensitive to your child’s expressions of insecurity and anxiety resulting from their involvement in competitive sport.
• The only expectation that you should have from your child’s involvement in tennis is that playing tennis will help him/ her to become a better person and athlete. Anything else will be a bonus. Do not assume or expect that your child will become a successful professional tennis player.
• Encourage your child to play other sports, to build relationships and to participate in other activities. AVOID forcing your child to focus entirely on tennis.
• Compare your child’s progress with his/ her own abilities/ goals. Do not compare your child’s progress with that of other children.
• Try to motivate your child in a positive and caring way (e.g. positive reinforcement). A ratio of 3:1 positive comments to each negative one is a good guide for giving effective feedback to your child. Do not harass or use sarcasm to motivate your child.
• Ensure your child respects the principles of good sportsmanship, behaviour and ethics. Do not ignore your child’s poor behaviour (cheating, using abusive language or treating others with disrespect) or overlooking critical areas of your child’s development at the expense of tennis. If this type of behaviour occurs, get involved quickly and be prepared to act if his behaviour is unacceptable.
• Reward your child for what s/he is as a human being not as a tennis player. Do not tie special privileges, prizes, external rewards, etc., to winning in tennis.
• Understand that you and your child need to share other interests and will often need a break from tennis. AVOID arguing or spending too much time speaking about tennis with your child.
• Yours child’s welfare and well being is the most important thing. Do not let your child’s tennis become more important to you than your child.
• Realise that tennis players usually need some space when they lose. A pat on the back or an unemotional word of encouragement is often sufficient as the player leaves the court. You can discuss the match when they are less emotional.
T.I. fact sheet 33
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